Hello NSA (A Love Song of Mass Surveillance)

by Peter Chiykowski

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Government surveillance agencies need love too, so just in time for Valentine's Day, here's "Hello NSA (A Love Song)"!

lyrics

You've got eyes for everyone (everyone but me).
You barely know that I exist, but soon enough you'll see,
You give me nerves like sarin gas, you make my heart beat like a bomb.
Insurgent infatuations are torturing my calm.

I'm searching for the words you want to hear,
And whispering sweet treason inside your ear.

Because I just want you to notice me,
But don't know what to say
Except "freedom fight," "anthrax powder," "terrorist,"
And "hello... hello... hello NSA!"

You put a glock inside my pocket, you put anthrax in my pants.
We're the "u" and "i" in "uranium," enriched and so enhanced,
Got a weapon of mass seduction and the detonator's set.
You don't have to waterboard me, baby, I'm already wet!

We're closer than two prisoners in a pod.
You make me want to shout "gee whiz!" or possibly "jihad!"

Because I just want you to notice me,
But don't know what to say
Except "freedom fight," "anthrax powder," "terrorist,"
And "hello... hello... hello NSA!"

Alqaeda to your every wish and whim.
Iraq-on that one day you'll bring me in,
And we will be happy forever after,
Even faster than you can say,
You can say,
You can say,
Nail bomb, mail bomb, carpet bomb, cluster bomb,
Blacklist, black bag, blackmail, black ops,
Condor, class war, classified evidence,
Half-life, steak knife, seduce the president!

Because I just want you to notice me,
But don't know what to say,
And you don't have to throw me in Guantanamo
Because I'll gladly choose to stay.
Once you go blacklist, you never go back, this is it
There is no other way,
I'm your "freedom fighter," "anthrax powder," "terrorist,"
Hello...
Your burn-the-Whitehouse, bootleg, browbeat terrorist,
Hello...
Your waterboarded, self-reported terrorist,
Hello...
Hello...
Hello NSA!

credits

released 12 February 2014
Peter Chiykowski

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about

Peter Chiykowski Toronto, Ontario

Peter Chiykowski who writes geeky songs for people who think too much but also too little. His tunes cover profound topics, like having a crush on the NSA, or how Santa copes with the crushing isolation of the far north for 11 months of the year.

His songs sound like if Jonathan Coulton, the Barenaked Ladies and John K. Samson climbed into a van and weren't allowed out until they wrote something.
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